Step 1

  1.  Take ownership of your feelings.  No matter what you are feeling, you have to take ownership of it.  No matter how deserving you are of those feelings, you have to take responsibility for them.  If you are happy – that was your choice.  If you are mad – that was your choice.  If you are sad – that was your choice.  Etc.

Now with that said, it’s impossible to not feel each of those things in varying degrees.  If someone  you love dies, you will be sad or angry or scared or any combination of a multitude of emotions.  You have every right to feel that.  It’s normal to feel that.  You need to feel that.  It’s having those feelings and working through them, no matter how hard or messy that is, that makes us grow and learn as humans.  We need to experience all emotions.  But, and here is the huge thing, you can decrease the severity of the negative emotions by practicing these principles.  You can make all the negative feelings fewer and further between.  You can be happy more.  That’s a good thing.

So please don’t think that you can’t be mad or sad or scared.  You can and you should. You should never ignore what you are feeling or try to push it down.  Acknowledge it. Accept it.  Know that you need to feel that so you can work through whatever is bothering you.  It’s not only ok to feel the way you feel, it’s essential.  Embrace it – but know that you can move past it!  You can help yourself move through those feelings by taking ownership of them and then following the steps in this blog.  Now, understand you won’t go through the rest of your life skipping merrily through a field of roses.  You won’t.  Life is painful and hard.  These principles will just help to make the journey easier.  They will bring you more peace and contentment.  They won’t take away the bad feelings or experiences.  But, they will give you the power to get through them.

Homework:  For the next week, notice what you are feeling.  Don’t try to change it.  Don’t think that it’s wrong to feel that.  Don’t try to squash it down.  Just notice it.  Acknowledge it.  Take ownership of it.  Whatever you are feeling is ok, you might just need to feel that in order to grow.  If you are feeling sad say “It’s ok to be sad, I will work through this”  if you are mad say “It’s ok to be mad, I will work through this”  If you are scared say “It’s ok to be scared, I will work through this” and if you are happy say “I’m so grateful to be happy”  Now how do you feel happy more than any negative emotions?